sleep specialist

via

Wow.  Three posts in one day.  I feel like one of those stalker girls that has to text their boyfriend every 7.6 seconds.  I'm a creeper.  But it couldn't wait.  Maybe I'll skip tomorrow so I don't annoy you.  Oh and I just realized it's Wednesday and I'm a day late on the triple tangents.  Judge me.  Do you know how good it feels to be a day closer to the weekend than you thought?  Amazing!

So I just went to the sleep specialist.  Turns out I have three different things, including sleep apnea like I thought.  But I have narcolepsy.  Have you seen Duce Bigalo?  The doctor thought I was a bit odd when I busted up laughing when he told me, then I asked if he'd seen that movie.  He explained it wasn't really that dramatic.  Duh.  Is there any doctor with a sense of humor?  So I felt a little stupid until I told my mom my diagnosis and she died laughing too.  She apologized and said all she could think about is me running on the treadmill and passing out.  This is why I love my mother.  I'm a sucker for a sense of humor.  So anyway... I never fall into a deep sleep at night which makes me tired all day.  Narcolepsy also can cause sleep apnea, so they are hoping with treatment that will go away.  If not I get a sexy mask.  Lingerie has nothing on that baby.  I don't know how my ginger will keep his hands off me.  Poor guy.  Also, I have cataplexy.  Now before I tell you what it is, I have some devastating news for you.  Don't get too upset that you didn't know this because I didn't either.  It is not, repeat, NOT normal for you to fall down when you laugh.  Or to have to sit down so your knees don't collapse when you are super pist because somebody ate your last Hershey.  I tell people this and I get a strange look.  Not because they are shocked, but because they knew this wasn't normal and find it strange that I did.  But ya know what, my whole family does it.  We laugh and we are on the floor.  We are angry and we need to lie down.  Emotions trigger something and cause me to have muscle weakness and collapse.  And that is cataplexy.  I have this.  It is also caused by narcolepsy, so they hope treating the first issue will fix this.  If not I get more meds.  Meds, meds, meds and a sexy mask.  But at least I am not crazy and I really do have a problem.  ProblemS.  Whatever.  I'm not so sure I want to stay standing as I laugh.  It sounds super boring and I feel sorry for you for not being this awesome.

I go to the sleep clinic in like two weeks to have all the tests done and see how bad I am.  They might laugh when I bring my stuffed lamb because I don't want to sleep alone.  Further proof that I am four.  After that, they are going to start with sleeping pills to knock me out and see if that helps with falling asleep during the day.  If it doesn't then I have to take a pill in the morning too, to stay awake all day.  I will be at the sleep clinic from 8:00 pm until 4:30 the next afternoon.  And I have to keep myself entertained.  Lets be texty friends so I don't get bored.  Maybe they have wifi and I can keep you posted.  Cross your fingers.