looking at my planner scares me

I have hundreds of things written in my planner from now until the end of the year.
Looking at it stresses me out a little bit.
Which is kind of the opposite effect my planner is supposed to have.
It should make me feel organized.
All the things should be pretty fun though.
I just hope I can squeeze them all in.
Remember how much I love surprises?
They are the best!!
I like to surprise my lover when I can.
But for some reason, I always plan out the surprises pretty far in advance.
Maybe because I always have a million things to do.
I have a new surprise planned for him on November 24th, and I can't wait!!
I am so excited, I get butterflies just thinking about it.
I need to stop doing this to myself.
Patience is not a virtue that I posses.
Not even a little bit.