I would share my girl scout cookies for one of these. But only if it stays this size.
If I don't know the words to a song I make up my own. Most the time I am pretty close but every once in a while I have to laugh at myself. Yesterday I googled the lyrics for Scar Tissue by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. In case you are wondering he says, "with the birds I'll share this lonely view," not "something, something, long live you." Embarrassing. I wish I could remember what I thought the lyrics to Daughter by Pearl Jam were because that was pretty bad too. I should have my hearing checked.
I took my CPR certification on Wednesday. Those dolls are so freakin' scary! The crash test dummy dolls scare me so bad, and those were in the same group. I have bruises on my palm and top of my left hand. CPR is rough. Probably not as rough as the guy who's receiving it. And they changed the rules again... it is now 30 compressions, two breaths, five reps of that, then recheck them. Just so ya know. Feel free to choke around me. I now know what to do.
I haven't felt right since surgery. I don't know if I am getting sick or if it's actually something associated with surgery, but I just feel horrible. I am constantly nauseous so I don't want to eat (who am I??) which has made my blood sugars get really low. I started to see black spots and could hear a loud rushing noise yesterday. I laid down on the floor in an oily, dirty shop (i.e. work) and took deep breaths. Since I had no test strips the EMT that works here checked me and I was 41. If you don't know that is BAD. I get sick below 85. I forced myself to choke down some food and fought all day to keep it down. I keep saying I don't have money for strips, but really insurance just stopped covering them so it pisses me off to pay $50 for something that is usually $15 so I boycotted them. I decided it was probably time to stop being cheap and buy the stupid things. I pulled out my meter and I hadn't checked my blood since... NOVEMBER FIRST. I suck. I checked it this morning and I was low again. Only 78 this time, but what the freak! When I was monitoring it last year I was doing soooo good!! I guess it's time to be good again. Here's to blowing $50 a month on test strips. Lame.
My surgery was to have my IUD (birth control) removed. I found out it has a nine percent chance of making you infertile and that freaked me out so I went in to get it taken out. They couldn't find it (awesome) so it had to be done surgically. Guys, feel free to stop reading... I haven't had my period in a year and a half since I've had the thing and getting it out caused me too. I feel like I'm 15 all over again trying to figure out how to deal with this. This is also a good reason for my blood sugar to be low... it always is during that time. Anyways since I am not on birth control I stopped to get condoms at the store. Have you ever bought condoms? I have not. There are about 4,000 kinds which is frustrating enough, made worse by the guy with devil horns tattooed on his head, talking to some lady about the kinds he preferred. Can't they just sell original? None of them make any freakin' difference anyway!! Between that and irritation about test strips I was in a bad mood. Then some lady slammed my ankles with her cart. Twice. Wal-Mart was out of Cadburry eggs. Are you kidding me? And Runner's World was $4.99. I paid $24 for 24 issues. I planned to go home and beat my husband a little for throwing it away. By the time I got home I was almost in tears and walked in to a dozen hot pink roses in a mason jar. I forgot about Cadburry eggs and running magazines. He said he knew I had a bad day and wanted to cheer me up. He is my favorite!!
Last night I put straps on my little sister's prom dress. I always wonder if this will be the boy that I have to beat within an inch of his life... I hope not. At least this one is 18 and won't be considered child abuse. You know, just in case. The straps were just to pull it in a little because she can't wear a bra. The dress laces down the back, so I cut the lace in half and put a strap on each side, they go over and down through the laces. I wanted to make sure they were straight and weren't going to pull the dress weird when laced so I put it on to make sure. I looked in the mirror and felt a little creepy wearing a prom dress. And then I was somehow shocked when I realized the dress fit. My little sister is TINY. I always said I wouldn't complain when I could fit into her jeans. It was even weirder that I threw the dress on without even questioning if it would fit. It wasn't her jeans but it did make me smile. Then I felt even creepier so I took it off real fast. Maybe she just looks skinnier because she is a freakin' giant, but I never would have thought we could share clothes. I guess I'm not allowed to complain anymore!
Does Wal-Mart cause you to have anxiety too?
Are you over protective of your siblings?
It's official. I am doing this. Well, not quite official. I still have to convince Josh that it will be a blasty blast. I'm hoping it won't be too difficult since he has a slight gambling problem. Or so I hear. I've never actually seen it since I've only been old enough to gamble for about 10.5 months.
I had a hard time signing up for this one for a lot of reasons. I filled out the registration form at least 20 times just to close the window and start again five minutes later. A few reasons:
I've been running for almost three years, but only seriously for a few months. Which means since January I went from nothing, to TONS of running gear. I've spent a lot of money on running lately and I'm a little scared it's becoming an addiction. Besides that Josh thinks running is stupid so he thinks I'm wasting money. But I think beer is stupid and we're always getting that too so... That's a lie. I love me some cold Budlight but the diabetes does not agree so I stopped drinking. Mostly.
I think more than anything my husband knows me too well. He knows that I get really excited about something, I'm the biggest fan, and then after a few months it's dead to me. I get bored easy and change my mind a lot. The one thing I haven't been like that with is him. He's a lucky, lucky guy. I'm sure he thinks running will be the same. This is a valid fear and it very well could be. But I don't want it to be that way. Signing up for a run in December kind of means I HAVE to keep going. Unless I want to die at mile three in front of a bunch of drunk people.
I think it's a little weird to sign up for more marathons before completing my first. What if I hate it? What if I do awful and can never show my face in the running community again? Well this means I have to. Even if I do horrible in Salt Lake, I don't think I should give up so easily. I should at least give it one more shot. Vegas baby.
So I have about eight months to convince my red head that this is a good idea. I'll just tell him I did it all for him, it's all for the gambling and the beer. And the M&M factory. He doesn't even have to be at the finish line of this one if he doesn't want. I'll slowly ease him into it so he doesn't get mad. Maybe I'll tell him after I give him his birthday gift. He turns 30 this year so it had to be GOOD and come July I might be known as the best wife ever. I could burn the house down and he'd still tell me I'm a genius. Probably not, but I can dream. Plus, we've been talking about going to Vegas for at least two years. I'm just giving it a happy little nudge.
I think what scared me the most about signing up for this is that Josh is always right. But if you ever tell him I said that I'll break your knee caps. So here's to still loving running a year down the road.
Speaking of loving running... I got back to it this morning and loved it! Eight miles in 1:04:56. I'll be rubbing my legs all day, but it was nice to have a good one after Saturday. I was scared I would be pist at running forever. I even made a new friend at the gym today. He's training for Ragnar and asked about my Vibrams. He told me his hips and calves bother him and I told him about foam rollers too. I'm getting pretty good and faking being a runner. I'll consider myself a real one around noon on April 16.
This is the greatest picture ever! I'm the kid holding hands with the tiger. This picture makes me so happy!
I lived through surgery. It wasn't even that bad and I feel great today! I am tired though which is odd because I slept for about seven hours yesterday and nine hours last night. I think I could use at least ten more. Josh took me to Chili's for lunch where they were out of normal tortillas for chips and used some thick nasty ones. I wanted to cry but then he got me Molten Chocolate cake and I'm pretty sure it's made from unicorn tears. Usually when I get this I'm with my sisters and forced to share. My lover hates all sugar so I inhaled it all by myself. Overall it was a pretty good day.
I was taken back to a pre-op room and my IV was started. While waiting for the anesthesiologist we started talking about chores we hate doing. Josh hates defrosting chicken and I hate opening mail. Josh loves to cook and grill, but getting it ready annoys him. I don't mind reading letters or paying bills, but opening envelopes suuuucks. In a very proud voice Josh told me how he helps me out with the mail situation... he throws all the junk mail away before he even brings it in the house. Things like the ads, a business magazine, Rolling Stones, and "some stupid running magazine that keeps coming." I thought he was messing with me. He was, in fact, was very serious and thought he was being nice. You mean the running magazine I have been paying for? The one I called on Friday and threw a fit because they had cashed my check weeks ago and I still hadn't gotten an issue? The one I reeeeeally wanted before my marathon for any last minute tips or ideas? Yeah. That one. Awesome. I very nicely asked him to stop throwing my mail away. First it was my drivers license and social security card after I spent hours getting my name changed. And now my Runners World. He's lucky he is cute.
I woke up early this morning and thought about going to the gym. The doctor said nothing active for at least 24 hours. I'm not listening to some guy I don't know, but when Josh asked me to please take a rest day I complied. I am feeling ready for a run which is awesome. I have been mad at running since Saturday and not wanted to do it at all. A few days off was just what I needed. Eight miles in the morning and I'm so excited!!
Oh that's right, I am. What was I thinking?
Today is a crazy day! It started off with me TRYing to run five miles. I was just under four when I had to stop because my leg kept cramping so bad I was tripping over myself. I even stopped and massaged it for a bit and tried to keep going but it just wasn't happening. That's what I get for taking so long Saturday and not having time to foam roll I guess. I need to take recovery things more seriously.
I've been feeding my friend Doug's kitties last week and all this week. They are so much fun! I really miss having a cat and wish my lover wasn't allergic. I've gotten in some good kitty time though and he even got me a $50 Amazon gift card for doing it. Win win. And I am now only $80 away from my Forerunner so even if I do get lost like a total spaz it isn't a big deal because I can still know my distance. I am accepting donations for this dire need... I will accept donations in the form of Hershey bars if you'd like. I am not picky. I had to feed the cats on my lunch today because I won't have time after work. I have pre-op at 4:00 and my orientation for my externship at 5:00. Which reminds me I'd better google the address and put it in my TomTom now. Then school from 6:00-9:00. That's a long time to go without seeing my ginger. When I got to Doug's house I realized I didn't bring scrubs to change into so I had to run home. Running around like crazy stresses me out.
The hospital just called and I have to be there by 7:00 am which means 8 miles isn't going to happen in the morning. I guess I'll be doing them Thursday and 5 on Friday. I'm hoping I can at least do weights on Wednesday. I am begging the universe for strength training to help with the tight muscles in my calves. I'm also begging Josh for a remedy for the same issue in the form of a gift card to the spa for my birthday.
I went to my first live hockey game last night. My brother-in-law was playing and they killed the other team. Jamie and her hubby came too where he fell down the bleachers, she laughed, and karma laughed at her and put her iPhone in the toilet. I only wish I could've seen him fall... Speaking of Jamie... she is not so much my marathon buddy now as she is my marathon cheerleader. She finally went to the doctor for her knee and her meniscus is torn :-( So she is still going to come share a hotel with me and just meet me at the finish line. We'll kill the next marathon together. I hope she heals fast... that girl is addicted to working out. After my horrible run on Saturday we went to her house for movie night. I brought the ice cream and she brought the awesome in the form of oreos, gummy bears, hot fudge, and Dr. Pepper syrup. Did you know they have Dr. Pepper syrup for ice cream? Sorry for peeing on your floor Jamie... I was real excited.
If you ever want to score some easy cash get behind me in line at the Wal-Mart. I will leave my wallet sitting on little shelf and not realize it for about seven hours. Thank you awesome, nice, sweet, good person who did not take my cash or cards and just turned it in. I luff you. I guess grocery shopping was just too much for me to handle. Two stores is horrible. We went to Sam's though and stocked up for the end of the world because Josh watched a stupid show that scared the hell outta me so in an effort to shut me up, I mean be a nice husband, we stocked up on food and ammo. My two favorite things... mass amounts of food and guns. Don't mess with us. And don't expect a post tomorrow. I will be lying on the couch good and drugged with some delish food. My lover says he'll get me takeout for lunch, anywhere I want. Help me out on this. It's too big a decision for one girl to make.
And "kind of" is a major understatement.
Note to self:
Do not fuel for a 16 miler with nachos smothered in jalepenos and chili followed by a quesadilla smothered in chile verde and expect to throw up any less than twice during the run.
Do not cry like a girl during runs. You make yourself look stupid.
Learn to navigate the place you've lived your entire life like a normal human being. Getting lost at this point is just ridiculous and turned your 16 into at least 17 and added almost an hour to your time. Awesome.
I don't know how you prevent this, but don't ever burst a vein in your ankle again. It scared me.
Do not forget to charge your iPod, especially when it is your timer.
Do not punch a Hummer because they almost hit you. Save your knuckles and palm that shit.
Stop being a baby about the cold. You are the one who decided to train in the middle of winter.
Don't wear a long sleeve cotton shirt for your run and wonder why you are uncomfortable and cold. Buy some real running gear.
Don't stop to sit down for a second when you are already miserable. You will cry when you start again.
Insure your legs for no less than one million dollars so when the previously mentioned Hummer does hit you because the moron driver is texting you can at least drown your sorrow with a chocolate fountain big enough to swim in. (Although after yesterday I doubt you'd feel sorrow if you couldn't run. Just sayin'.)
You will complete this marathon. You have been worried but after yesterday you proved you are too hard on yourself to give up. I'm not sure if that's a good thing.
After you have thrown up, cried, hurt your hand, bruised your ankle, and ran without music you are kind of a bitch. Get that in check.
This is probably more information than you ever cared to know, but when I run I have a voice in my head. Most of the time that voice is Josh and is very nice saying things like, "You're almost there babe" or "Just a little farther honey." When I am miserable and I know every single second of my misery was self inflicted the voice is neither Josh, nor nice. It says things like, "Move your fat ass" and tells me what a wimp I am. I don't know what my time was yesterday or how far I went but it was long enough to say "I hate you" about 100 times. I'm not sure if that was me hating the voice, or the voice hating me but I'm sure it was mutual. I got home furious my iPod had died and plugged it in. It sat on the charger for 25 minutes and still wouldn't work. I plugged it into the computer to be told it was corrupted. My iPod that is barely a month old that I'm kind of in love with. I wanted to cry. I planned to take it back this morning but my aunt showed me how to reset it and it's workin' like a champ since. Has anybody else had this problem? I'm scared to run with it now.
Here's to a new training week starting tomorrow and showing running and the voice inside my head who is boss.
I am finally able to run again after my accident, but I still can't ride my horses. Well, I ride, but then I feel like death so it only happens a few times a year.
I skipped training again this morning, but today I'm not even mad at myself. I have only ran once this week which bums me out, but today I'm ok with it. My lover kissed me bye when he left for work and I had 20 minutes to sleep before I had to go to the gym. I fell back to sleep and dreamt the power was out in my house and somebody was in there. He knocked me out. When I woke up from being knocked out I woke up for real and I was paralyzed. I couldn't move at all. I tried so hard to move or to even scream and I couldn't do either. It seemed like it lasted forever. I don't know if I fell back to sleep, or how I could have but I blacked out and when I opened my eyes again I could move. I jumped out of bed, searched my house, then threw up. I collapsed on the kitchen floor and snuggled my dog and cried while she licked my face. And I feel slightly crazy telling you all of this.... after that I couldn't sleep so I laid on the couch and my 72 pound dog laid on my chest. We Netflixed The Office and I wondered if I am going crazy. I calmed down after about an hour and got some cereal which made me sick again. I hope the doctor calls today... I feel like I'm losing it.
On a happier note my mom called me yesterday. My family is all going out to dinner for my aunt's birthday and my mom is bringing her boyfriend. I will be meeting him for the first time. She mentioned something about him being "politically correct" and asked me to watch what I say, something about being nice, and please don't embarrass her. What?!? I'm so offended! I asked her if it was embarrassing if I asked him if I could call him dad. She said she'd reconsider coming. She's so touchy. I text her and told her his name is PC, short for Politically Correct and that is what I will call him. She asked me to please not call him that around him. He should just learn that our fam is weird from the beginning. I wonder if she'll come to dinner still...
I just found out my cousin is having another little girl! When I told Josh I asked him what he thinks we'll have. He said girls and gagged a little. My grandma tried for a boy seven times. She has seven girls. I told him it didn't matter because his "stuff" is what determines the gender. This is when I was informed that we both know who the boss in this marriage is (me) and he has no doubts that my eggs will boss his swimmers around. He is not wrong. I hope my eggs like boys... girls scare the freak outta me!
Lady Fitness said my cancelation paperwork wasn't good enough and I need to send something different, so they will be charging me for the month. Awesome... I reaaaaally don't like them.
My girl scout cookies haven't come yet and it is March 4th. I was told the 1st. They better be here before surgery on Tuesday or I will punch a girl scout, even if she is seven. I want my Somoas! If you think I'm kidding, ask my little sister... She tried to eat my last Somoas last year and I jumped over two couches and the island in my kitchen to tackle her. It was a month before the wedding and I hadn't had sugar in months. Josh watched me beat a minor for some cookies. And he still married me. Sucker.
For at least one day anyway. I did not have ANY sugar yesterday. I got home from school last night and wanted to snack and didn't. Currently there is a gigantic cinnamon roll, another peace offering, on my desk and I'm still eating my cantaloupe for breakfast. Sometimes I surprise myself. I'm not sure if it's my motivation or my sleep disorder but this week has been a rough one for waking up. I didn't get up this morning. It's weird... I haven't ran for two days and I've been a moody B for two days. Running greatly improves my mood. I should try to focus on that when the alarm goes off but logic doesn't exist before 9:00 am. I am supposed to have results from the sleep clinic by tomorrow and a plan to fix it, so hopefully it will help and I'll get my butt outta bed!!
I am so excited about getting a Garmin Forerunner 305! You can race yourself on that thing. How cool is that? I can tell it I want to do my 16 miles faster this week and it will let me know how far ahead or behind I am from my time last week. Awesome!! Plus I am pretty sure the GPS is more accurate than planning routes on google. I planned a route with google and Jamie's iPod told us it was like 0.2 miles short. We cannot have that. Or it's a good excuse for a new toy. Either way I can't wait!! I wish I had it for training for this marathon, but it will be handy for next! I want to do St. George, Top of Utah, and hopefully Vegas. That would be four this year. So much fun!!
I've been reading for fun a little more lately and I just can't get into the Outlander series. Josh loved them and went on and on about them. They are his favorite. I'm on book two and I think they might be dead to me... I'm doubting I'll read the last five. He's convinced it's better than the greatest book of all times, Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follet. That guy is smoking something. Josh, not Ken. Pillars is a million times bettah!! Reeead it!
This is what I live with. Every. Single. Day.
On Monday I had to leave my desk for a bit. When I came back there was chocolate pie on my desk. Basically a miracle was performed and it was delish. Then I found out it was from the mean lady at work and I was a little scared that I had eaten it. I didn't die though. Yesterday I walked passed her desk and she stopped me and asked to talk to me. She apologized for EVERYTHING and asked me to tell her if she is ever being rude because she doesn't notice. This is a huge deal and very unexpected. I let my boss know and told her hopefully things will improve. Today she came up to me and talked to me calmly and nicely. Then she told me to have a good day. What the! I'm pleased. I have called my husband crying because of this lady many times. I've thought about walking out and quitting my job at least a hundred times. It's just still weird. Hopefully it will stick. I guess the pie was a peace offering. How did she know I couldn't resist chocolate pie, huh?? The world knows my weakness.
For a week I have been trying to figure out why everytime I stop (while driving) my radio changes stations or the air gets turned up or down. My car is operated all by touch screen and whichever screen I had open it would mess with when I stopped. I'm always watching the road when I stop, but for some reason I happened to look down as the necklace hanging from my rear view mirror swung forward and changed the station. I am awesome. I'm glad I didn't take it into the shop.
Jamie's knee is getting better! Today it isn't tender and she thinks she might be able to run with me Saturday! She is going to start and if it hurts she'll head back, so we'll see how it goes. I'm sick of our usual routes so I planned a new one and I'm pretty excited!!
My goals for March have gone GREAT!! Yesterday I ate half a box of Thin Mint cookies in an hour and this morning I was pouting so I didn't get out of bed. Both goals broken in the first two days. I think my self control is on vacation. No use beating myself up over it though. I haven't had sugar today and I am going to make up miles in the morning. And work even harder to stick to it for the next 29 days.
This morning I stepped on the treadmill at 5 am with the genius idea to do hills. I had never done hills on a treadmill before and figured it couldn't be to bad. I was wrong. I also figured I could keep up my usual happy pace and be just fine. My goal was 40 minutes. 44 minutes and ten seconds later I finally finished my five miles. I changed the incline for each mile, the first mile at a 5 then 2, 4, 1, and 3. I only ended up on the floor with my head between my knees to keep from passing out three times. I felt like such a sissy. At 0.87 miles I really thought about quitting. I had to talk to myself the whole time and keep reminding myself that I like to run. I did NOT like it this morning. To remind myself that running makes me feel alive I listened to "Alive" by Kenny Chesney. I realized that I was alive and I am lucky to even be able to run, and that I actually run a lot smoother to slow music. So much for angry music, right? Then I cried the whole way home every time I used my clutch. I sat on the floor of the shower and washed because I couldn't stand for another second. I don't know how I made it through that run and I have a feeling tomorrow's eight might be the death of me.
My new favorite song to run to at the moment is "Scar tissue" by Red Hot Chili Peppers. Hopefully that will get me through my 5 am sweat session. Right now my happy pace is 6.7. I am going to try to slowly up that in the next few weeks. I'd like my happy pace to be at least 7.5 by the time the marathon gets here. 46 days! I also decided that I need one of these because it is awesome and on sale and my birthday is coming up. My goal for the year was to be happy with my body by my birthday. I'm almost to that point, and I get closer every day, but I need a little extra boost if I am going to reach that in two months. My goals for March are no sugar (except after surgery because calories don't exist when you don't feel well) and no missing training sessions. Another goal I have is to be able to smoke my husband in a foot race. He has been wanting to race since we got together (for some reason we still haven't) and I want to smoke him when we do. Not just leave him behind a little, I want him to cry for his mommy. Not really, but that guy never runs so if I can't beat him I am going to be pist. I already know I could beat him in distance but we are talking like from the bed to the fridge. This is my motivation to stop skipping my speed training on Fridays.
I only have two weeks of school left! That is CRAZY! It has gone by so fast. We have one more test, CPR training, and then our final to be certified. Wish me luck. I'm going to be studying like crazy.
I finally got the keypad for my phone! My texts are now just obnoxious, and not obnoxious because of @ instead of A's. If you have a blackberry and want to change the face plates, taking it to a phone store is a great idea. I worked on my for an hour and a half last night, and when I get home I'll be taking it apart and redoing it because I didn't remove the screen protector on the inside of the phone. I am awesome.
I can't believe it's already March. Time is going by too fast lately! Two months of this year have already passed.
If I ever find time I will redo my blog! I really can't stand this font...
Oh and you know I am all about the romance so please go here and comment on this story to help this lady's dreams come true!!
Our honeymoon... well I guess the honeymoon hadn't actually started because it was a couple days before we got married. I just wanted to show you my "meaty" legs. Thanks husband. Oh and I look pregnant because I had a genius idea to stick my phone in the stomach pocket on my shirt. Stomach pockets should be illegal.
The worst has happened. I have to wash my hair twice in two days. Awesome. They put so much crap on my scalp to make all these sensors stick. First he marked me with a grease pen. Oh thanks, my skin is not oily enough. He then scrubbed the spots with mechanic soap, which we all know is the best thing to wash your roots with. Then a big ball of some nasty goo, followed by a sensor and a big piece of tape. I am assuming it feels great to have medical tape ripped off of your head, right? I won't find out until about five tonight. By that time I'll be all agitated and pist off from sitting in this 10 by 10 room. I thought I'd be relaxed and happy... they told me they were making me nap every two hours. Um hello awesome. But then they told me I don't actually get to sleep. They wake me up as soon as I start to doze. What kind of sick show are they running here? Oh and he just told me I can't have chocolate. They are reaaaaaally pushing it in here. Will you visit me in jail if I snap? And tell me that orange is slimming on my meaty legs? Thanks.
My loved ones were all about the sweet compliments yesterday. My dad has a mirror that bows forward in the middle so it makes you look super wide. Seriously, I could fit triplets in my mirror hips. It is a depressing mirror and it should be illegal, along with stomach pockets. We are not kangaroos. As I walk out I say, "I hate that mirror." Every. Single. Time. Why can't he attach the stupid thing in the middle? This time as I made my hate comment my sister so nicely said, "Why? Because it makes you look fatter?" FattER?? So I punched her in her kidney and stole her kids. I took them to McDonald's where I asked the if they wanted Sprite or Rootbeer. My youngest nephew thought I said do you want Sprite, Root, or Beer? He of course chose beer which caused my older nephew to explain he got that from Gramma. I rolled my eyes and said "nice" as I went to get there drinks. I came back to the three year old jumping up and down because he thought he was getting a beer. I should probably tell him that beer is an adult drink, but I'll let his Gramma deal with that one. I then took them to see Gnomeo and Juliet which was ok for a kids movie, but I usually love cartoons and I just wasn't into it. Maybe it's because the three year old was asking to leave before the previews were even over. Whose to say. I don't know how people are full time parents. That was the most stressful four hours of my life. And people ask why I don't have kids... I couldn't even get their shoes on when we left the playplace.
