Our honeymoon... well I guess the honeymoon hadn't actually started because it was a couple days before we got married. I just wanted to show you my "meaty" legs. Thanks husband. Oh and I look pregnant because I had a genius idea to stick my phone in the stomach pocket on my shirt. Stomach pockets should be illegal.
The worst has happened. I have to wash my hair twice in two days. Awesome. They put so much crap on my scalp to make all these sensors stick. First he marked me with a grease pen. Oh thanks, my skin is not oily enough. He then scrubbed the spots with mechanic soap, which we all know is the best thing to wash your roots with. Then a big ball of some nasty goo, followed by a sensor and a big piece of tape. I am assuming it feels great to have medical tape ripped off of your head, right? I won't find out until about five tonight. By that time I'll be all agitated and pist off from sitting in this 10 by 10 room. I thought I'd be relaxed and happy... they told me they were making me nap every two hours. Um hello awesome. But then they told me I don't actually get to sleep. They wake me up as soon as I start to doze. What kind of sick show are they running here? Oh and he just told me I can't have chocolate. They are reaaaaaally pushing it in here. Will you visit me in jail if I snap? And tell me that orange is slimming on my meaty legs? Thanks.
My loved ones were all about the sweet compliments yesterday. My dad has a mirror that bows forward in the middle so it makes you look super wide. Seriously, I could fit triplets in my mirror hips. It is a depressing mirror and it should be illegal, along with stomach pockets. We are not kangaroos. As I walk out I say, "I hate that mirror." Every. Single. Time. Why can't he attach the stupid thing in the middle? This time as I made my hate comment my sister so nicely said, "Why? Because it makes you look fatter?" FattER?? So I punched her in her kidney and stole her kids. I took them to McDonald's where I asked the if they wanted Sprite or Rootbeer. My youngest nephew thought I said do you want Sprite, Root, or Beer? He of course chose beer which caused my older nephew to explain he got that from Gramma. I rolled my eyes and said "nice" as I went to get there drinks. I came back to the three year old jumping up and down because he thought he was getting a beer. I should probably tell him that beer is an adult drink, but I'll let his Gramma deal with that one. I then took them to see Gnomeo and Juliet which was ok for a kids movie, but I usually love cartoons and I just wasn't into it. Maybe it's because the three year old was asking to leave before the previews were even over. Whose to say. I don't know how people are full time parents. That was the most stressful four hours of my life. And people ask why I don't have kids... I couldn't even get their shoes on when we left the playplace.
I'm sitting in the bed at the sleep clinic. It's not so bad. The room is kind of nice and it's quiet here. I miss my husband though. I cried like a big baby the whole way here. Looks like the have wifi :-) I'm not even sure if I am supposed to be on this network. It looks like it's their work network.
My husband told me I was creepy because my little sister got asked to prom and I tried to look the guy up on Facebook. He's probably right, but if he wants a kid he should get used to it. I already feel bad for them. I'm a good little detective.
I decided I want to run a marathon in each state. 50 marathons. Even if it isn't an organized one and I just run 26.2 to check out the new place I'm in I'm ok with that. It might never happen. That's a lot of traveling and there are other countries I'd prefer to see over some of the states. But it would be cool. My 16 miles today made me feel pretty confident. 16 miles in 2:21:50. It felt good. I could have kept going. my knee did get sore though and I had to wear my brace the last six miles. McDonald's chicken nuggets are good recovery food, right? I am sore like crazy now though. I'm all gimpy. I hope my body gets used to this. Being sore blows. I feel much better than I do on days that I have ran outside in the freezing cold though.
My lover always jokes about if we were stranded he is excited to eat the dogs because they have "meaty little legs." He was rubbing my sore calves today and said, "Wow babe, you have meaty legs." Um... thank you? I gave him a dirty look and he said he just meant that my muscles were huge. Yes. I already knew that. I have gigantic muscles in my legs. I know it's all muscle, but the size bugs me sometimes and I wish they would shrink. I guess that's what I get for saying he's scrawny? We balance each other out. I really miss that guy.
I got this from my friend Sara's blog. Hilarious! And totally me. I should probably stop wearing running capris until I learn to shave my legs regularly, but it hasn't stopped me so far. And by running capris I mean $3 leggings from Wal-Mart. I really love them. But they stopped selling them and I am going to have to buy some Under Armour ones. I hope they are worth the extra $37.
I got a pretty pist off e-mail from somebody about me complaining that my size fours were tight. Apparently that was rude? I don't care if you are a size four or a size twenty if you're happy with the way you look. I don't think a size four is big, or fat. But I want to be smaller. I don't even care if I stay a size four. I would just like them to to be a bit looser. We all have goals. And this blog is about MINE. So chill.
I only have 50 days left until the big day!! That is 50 days of training. 50 days of trying my hardest. I want to be able to look back and know I prepared the best I could. So I don't feel great about this week, but starting tomorrow I am going to try my best. My "surgery" was unsuccessful so "surgery" just became surgery. Blah. March 8th. I am going to run March 9th's miles on the 8th in the morning and then take the 9th off. Hopefully I'll be good to go again on the 10th. My girl scout cookies should be here by then. I don't know how that helps with my whole not-eating-sugar thing, but I'm pretty excited about it.
I have a new goal to run the Breast Cancer 5K in 21:00 in May. That might be unrealistic, and I might change it after a couple speed trials, but that is what I am pushing for. I also really want to run a marathon we have to travel for. Actually a couple of them, but I'm thinking we'll start off small. I am wondering if I can convince Josh to go to Vegas in December. I'll just use his love for gambling to sway him. Muah ha ha ha!!
I am in love with Train's new song called Marry Me. "Marry me. Today and everyday." That line reminds me of Josh. We have been married for 8.5 months now and he still asks me to marry him at least once a week. I love songs that remind me of him. Too bad they are never songs I can run to. I like loud, angry music for running. My favorite is Crazy Bitch by Buckcherry. If I am ever having a hard time keeping going, I turn it to that and it helps.
Tomorrow is going to be CRAZY! After running 16 miles I am definitely making a chocolate, peanut butter and banana smoothie. And then I guess I'll wash my hair. Then I am heading to a good friend's baby shower. Twin boys. She is brave! She will be such a good little mommy. Then I have to get my emissions done on my car... I guess registration expires on Monday. Blah. Then I have a date with the two cutest boys I know. My nephews! I am taking them to lunch and to see Gnomeo and Juliet. I'm probably more excited than they are. Dear Lord, please, please, please don't let Kasyn have an accident while he is with me. I will cry. Seriously. Then I only get a couple hours with my lover and I have to head up to the sleep clinic. If they have WiFi I will say hello, but I am highly doubting it. If not I'll write ya something special and post it on Sunday.
This is my mouthguard I just got that I have to start sleeping in. I grind my teeth so much when I sleep that it is starting to wear my teeth down. Maybe it's the psychotic nightmares about being skinned alive, but who's to say. I think it looks pretty hot. It's a lot smaller than I expected, and for that, I thank them.
Yesterday I felt a lot more optimistic about my job. Then I got here this morning and was told that somebody told my boss I leave 30 minutes to an hour early every day. Awesome. Everybody here is off at 3:10 and I have to be here until 3:30. There has been MAYBE three times that I have left at the same time they did because I worked through my lunch. I wish the nosy people here would mind their own freakin' business. So I hated work again. But then I got told somebody else's business and I am back on the fence. I know people should mind their own business, but when you get caught fooling around in an old test cell, what do you expect? Well played, Universe. This would be a lot easier to laugh at if they weren't both married (to other people) but it is still quite funny and ridiculous. Who does that? I can't believe they haven't been eaten by a mutant spider. I guess an orgasm at work might make this place more likeable, but you should probably get a job with your spouse if you want to find out. I wonder if I could sneak Josh in, in my purse....
I have been using my lilash on only my left eye this week because my right eyelashes are so much longer. I noticed when that side of my face felt heavier. I kid. The right side is just touching my eyebrows and the left isn't quite there. Maybe it's not the lashes and my eyes are lopsided.
I had important things to do yesterday so I skipped my seven miles and planned to do them today, and today's four tomorrow. My alarm went off and I couldn't get out of bed so I decided to do it after work. In my 4:30 am fog I guess I forgot that I have a doctor appointment for a minor "surgery" after work and there is no way I will be running today, and probably not tomorrow either. That is 11 miles this week and it is really stressing me out. If I would have done them when I was supposed to I'd be good to go. I need to stick to my schedule better. 16 miles Saturday, all treadmill, and I am pretty excited!! I hope I am feeling up to it by then. And I hope Jamie is back up to it on Monday.
I forgot my breakfast this morning. I don't know if it's my love for food or low blood sugar but I turn into a B when I don't eat. You've been warned.
Remember how I hate my job? We had a real big meeting about that today and I think most of those issues will be resolved. I am so excited. And going through my workload we realized why it's been impossible to catch up lately and we got that problem fixed too. I have been trying to catch up since June. I will be caught up by the middle of next week. I am thrilled!! Hopefully everything will go as planned and I can go back to not minding my job. It will be easier to make myself go.
I had the bright idea to bring a jar of peanut butter to work instead of packing a little tupperware full of it every day for my fruit breakfast. I don't know if this was genius or a really, really bad idea. It saves on dishes but I am pretty sure my peanut butter consumption will double. On every break I want to eat a big spoonful of it. I have refrained but I am weak. It won't last much longer. Speaking of self control, my enabler, Jamie, is on her way over with a cupcake from Vintage. I have never had one but I am sure I will be immediately addicted and I can't even be mad at her because she knows the way to my heart. Chocolate frosting. Is it healthy if I put a strawberry on top? I have been dying to make a peanut butter and banana smoothie with chocolate milk. If you make millions off that idea, just remember where you got it. Thanks.
I am kind of in a bad mood today. I put on my size four jeans that I haven't worn since Christmas. I got all new jeans for Christmas and finally decided today to start using my old ones for work. They are super tight. I know I was bigger at Christmas. What. The. Freak. I am sure it is just because I dried them last time because I doubted I'd be wearing them again, but it still made me feel like crap and I have been obsessing all day. This is why I avoid the scale. I drive myself insane. I am sure a cupcake will help. Chocolate makes everything better. And tighter.
This weekend I was too busy to blog. Which is weird, because I didn't have a cake or homework. It might have just been laziness. Too lazy to blog sounds about right.
Saturday Jamie and I slept in. Not together. But we decided sleeping in before our run sounded great. I rolled out of bed at the butt crack of dawn... 8:00 a.m. I picked up my Bountiful Basket from a new location this time and I have never seen one so unorganized. I was supposed to have my basket at 9:15. I got it at 9:40. By the time I got outside it was pouring so we decided to run laps on the track at the local rec center. Before our run I ran to the store and got a five hour energy and juice for smoothies. I shot my energy and headed up to meet Jamie. I never take energy anything and I was bouncing off the freakin' walls. I was hyper. We went upstairs to the track where we learned that 19 laps equals 1 mile. That should be illegal. I was NOT doing 266 laps around a bunch of staring basketball players. No thanks. We did 19 laps track, 6 miles treadmill and the last 7 miles outside in the pouring rain. It was actually a GREAT run day for me and my body felt fabulous. I tried shot bloks for the first time... energy drinks and shot bloks... I feel bad for Jamie. I was so hyper I was basically bouncing up and down running. Shot bloks do make me want to barf for about ten minutes though, and then I am good to go. I am hoping to push through and get used to them. It seems like we can never have a good day together though, and Jamie hurt her knee. We hoped it was just a bit sore but it is still hurting her. She can't even bend it. She is taking the week off and seeing if it improves. I am pretty upset. I will be bummed if she can't marathon with me. But even more than that she LOVES to work out. On top of all our training, that crazy lady is still doing bootcamp every day. She is a bad ass. Her hubby works over seas three months, home for a month, then heads back. Working out is something that keeps her busy, and more than anything it keeps her happy. I will cry if this is major and she isn't back to it by Monday. Send happy vibes to her knee, k? Even with her bum knee we still finished in 2:22:38. She offered to take a picture of me so you could see that it looked like I peed my pants... I passed. Obviously. That was 28 miles total last week in 4:13:24!!
After our run, Saturday just got better and better. We rolled on our foam rollers and drank strawberry/banana/peanut butter smoothies. Then we showered (again, not together) and got ready and headed out for a double date. We went to Brewvie's which is a bar AND movie theater in Salt Lake City. So much fun! Josh has been telling me about it since we met and we finally decided to go. We had pizza, the guys had beer, and The Fighter was a GREAT movie. I was surprised. Jamie's husband is hilarious by the way. It's funny, she is so much like my husband--quiet and a little shy--and I am so much like hers--loud and loves awkward jokes. After the movie we headed over to Dr. John's. That would probably be kind of weird, how we ended up there, but it was right next door and I have never been. What a funny store! I have never seen so many weird, random, freaky things all in one place. Then we got to drive home in a crazy blizzard. Mother Nature hates me.
Sunday might have been the best day ever. We slept until 8:00, I took Josh to breakfast, we watched Nascar and that was such a cool Daytona 500!! Then my lover grilled for dinner and I made homemade mashed potatoes. I love love Sundays.
Sunday night I was awake all night from coughing and sleep issues. I woke up with a sore throat and miserable head ache, so I called in sick. I laid on the couch all day long. Josh had to go get his oil changed at 4:00 and I didn't run in the morning so I decided to get it over with while he was gone. I have a runners tip for you. Do NOT fuel with Top Ramen. You will die. Or barf. Or both. I didn't end up barfing, but they came up and it was awkward. Especially at my new gym. It was my first time and the TV screen acted as a mirror and all I could see were my boobs bouncing. That's a lie. I also saw three guys walk by and look at my butt. The TV will be getting covered with my jacket from now on. I got too used to an all women's gym. I feel more self conscious at the new place, so I hope that will pass. I also feel guilty not wearing my wedding ring but I hate that it gets scratched like crazy from weights, so I went and got an $8 ring on lunch.
Josh convinced me to go to the chiropractor for my broken back when we met. I fell in love immediately. Nothing has ever helped with the pain like that has. Well when we switched me to Josh's insurance after the wedding they made a bunch of mistakes and things got crazy and I got a $700 bill from the chiropractor. I decided to stop going until it was figured out. I get to go today!! I haven't been since November and I am so so so excited!
I went to Wal-Mart on lunch and got me a "diamond" ring for a fake wedding ring. I am pretty excited about it. You know I love a good excuse to buy jewelry. That makes number three or four on fake wedding rings. I also got my friend Emily's baby shower gifts for the twin boys growing in her belly. That girl is tiny. I don't know how she is going to fit two babies in that body. I was reminded why I hate Wal-Mart. A lady walked passed with a basket in her hand and jammed it into my back. She said sorry, but I know she saw me and walked right into me anyways. People are so rude. Then as I was going to check out, something kept rubbing my butt. When things hit my butt, 99% of the time I will take the blame. That thing is a shelf and is always right in the way. But then I felt breath on the back of my neck and got pretty freaked out and spun around to see a lady with black and white hair, bright red lipstick and black eye shadow up to her brows. All she needed was a fur coat. It was her fat roll rubbing my butt. That right there is the definition of awkward. So I took two steps forward. And so did she. My first instinct was to elbow her. Not because I am violent or crazy (ha) but because I am kind of a freak about my personal space. I don't like being touched by people I am not close with, or even being in touching distance. I am probably traumatized for life and I still feel a bit claustrophobic. Well played Cruella Devil.
I just realized two of my favorite holidays are coming up. I also realized my favorite holiday is always the one that is coming up. I am in love with St. Patty's day. Green is my favorite so a whole day of everybody wearing green is awesome. And I always get some socks to celebrate. Plus my lover is Irish. And my last day of school is the day before. So we are going to celebrate the green and no more studying! Easter is still like two months away, but I really really love to color eggs, and to watch my nephews hunt for them. It would probably be better if my family didn't all hate mornings. Everybody is grouchy and so much fun to be around. But then the coffee kicks in and we all remember how to pretend to be normal and nice.
After last week I really thought these guys would be showing up soon. I miss them.
This week started off bad when I found out I didn't get the job. On Valentine's Day. Then I got home and my lover was sick so I spent V-Day alone. It has been a horrible week narcolepsy-wise and I am beat. Tuesday I forgot about my dentist appointment. Yesterday I couldn't get my booty out of bed so I planned to run then head to the dentist. I got home, changed crazy-person-quick, hopped in my car and it wouldn't start. Fabulous. After turning over for a few seconds for the thousandth time my key snapped so I had to grab my spare. Car started right up. I guess the sensor in my normal key was broken. It was dentist time so I headed over where they had me bite into purple cement to get a mold, then pulled my jaw out of the cement and it felt like they were removing my jaw. My whole face hurt and the gym I wanted to sign up for and use wasn't answering the phone so I just went to Lady with a broken key, jacked up jaw, and pist off attitude. I did NOT want to run and every single second of it was mis. er. able. My iPod annoyed me, a kid popped up right next to me and scared me and I almost fell off the treadmill, and Josh was running late so I didn't get to see him before I left for Idol night. But then I made cookies with my nephews and laughed at how weird my family is, so it wasn't all bad. Just off. It's been an off week and I plan to start the weekend off right with a hepatitis B shot, signing up for my new gym, pizza from the Circle, and a newlywed night with my lover, this time minus the drool. Maybe.
I got my pepper spray last night and it is super cute. It would have been much less cute if I hadn't yanked it out of my sister's hand a half second before she sprayed me in the face as she asked what it is. If you have pepper spray hide your keys, hide your wife, they're sprayin' errbody out here.
A whole box of mac and cheese is a serving right?
I can't decide if I am jealous or feel bad for Josh for hating sugar. I think am jealous because my stomach would have never made me unhappy if it wasn't for that crap, but then I just feel bad for him because a world without Hersheys is a world I don't want to live in. He thinks cream cheese is gross because it's too sweet. And I thought I was weird.
I just ordered my first bondiband. I even got Jamie one so we can be twinners for the marathon. We already have matching shirts and SPI belts, why not head bands too. I also ordered a stopwatch because trying to time myself on my iPod is difficult when it's on my arm, covered in plastic, and I don't want to get a slower time to find it. Oh and shot bloks. I love running gear. I love online shopping. It's like Christmas delivered to my doorstep. Not actually swiping my card makes it not seem real, so this could definitely get me in trouble. Pretty sure I pay somebody's salary at Amazon. You aaaaare welcome.
Greasy, messy ponytails are in style. Right? I had a pretty bad night again last night so I wasn't able to get up this morning. I'll be doing my run after work, before the dentist, with no time to shower in between. But I do plan to wash my hair after the dentist and that's pretty big I guess. I was supposed to go to the dentist on Tuesday at 4:00, remembered at 2:00 and somehow within an hour and a half forgot and just drove straight home. Maybe I was trying to life just one eyebrow again. I am awesome. I am getting fitted for my night guard because I'm destroying my chompers by grinding like crazy at night. I have always done it and I finally decided to stop being cheap and fork out the $200. If I don't have teeth I will have to melt all my chocolate and drink it and that just looks bad. Plus pizza from a blender just doesn't have the same appeal. Picky, picky.
What do you miss about being a kid? Today I really miss book fairs. I LOVED those things. They always had them on parent teacher conference night and since I always had good grades my mom always let me pick a book and something else. Do you remember Clifford the Big Red Dog pencil toppers? Do you know where I can get some because I'm feeling deprived. I have even considered getting knocked up just to have an excuse to go. But then I remembered my nephew starts school this year and I'll just be a creeper and tag along. I can't believe how big my little fat head is getting. I miss them. I need to take them to lunch and a movie.
I failed to realize that the button missing from my phone is also the button needed to unlock the thing. So I can't lock it and I have been butt dialing a lot. The keypad is leaving Singapore today though. Anybody know how long it takes to ship from Singapore? I bet I could fly there faster and spend a week on the beach with my green phone and husband. This isn't a bad idea. Singapore does have a beach, right? I only know about Singapore from my extensive Pirates of the Caribbean knowledge.
Have I mentioned that I don't really like girls? I don't have many female friends because most women are catty. They see a good looking girl and they are thinking what a byotch she is because her hair is nice. My favorite girls are the ones that can be happy for her and tell her that she has pretty hair. I love women who can give other women compliments. If I got mad about every girl with nicer hair than mine we'd be in trouble like five days a week... it only looks ok for about two days after a wash, the other five... don't even start.
Days where running is easy and fun for every second of it. They are my favorite! I like running 90% of the time, but there is usually a small gap in there that is rough. Not today. Today was awesome! I have been pushing on speed and with my hurt ankle I have had to step off a few times. This week I have no pains and yesterday as I ran I stepped off out of habit. I felt like I was training my body for sprints with breaks in between and that bummed me out. So my goal for today was today the first five at a steady speed of 6.7 without stopping and doing the last mile as fast as I wanted. I had so much fun running today! Maybe it was singing to myself or dancing. I love Alanis. But today was good. I did get muscle cramps for the first time today though and it was such a strange pain that it made me laugh outloud. Maybe I have a weird sense of humor. I'm looking forward to an ice bath and some icy hot tonight. I got home from the gym at 6:20 and have to leave by 6:40. I still had to pack a lunch and everything. Nothing hotter than sweaty ponytails. My husband is a lucky man.
After Saturday I will be able to say I have ran more than a half marathon. Jamie just pointed that out and it's pretty exciting. 14 miles. Dear Mother Nature, please be nice.
I should probably be a little embarrassed that I can eat all the food on my plate AND finish Josh's because it's too much food for him. I think our servers when we go out think it's pretty weird. On Valentine's day when we both ordered a potato, salad and steak he asked if we were sure because the portions for side items are very large and meant to be shared. He probably thought I put some in my purse when he came back to clean plates.
I gave my MIL my touch screen phone yesterday instead of waiting a month. I hate touch screen and hers wasn't working, so I figured it was pointless for her to go spend $400 on a new phone when I hate mine anyway and have a perfectly good one that I love in the drawer. And by perfectly good I mean dinged up and the A button is missing. Waiting like a month for my green replacements isn't a big deal, but I am sure it's annoying to text me right now. Replacing A with @ looks obnoxious, especially with m@ra@thon, h@ h@, h@ve... you get the idea. I f33l lik3 @ t33nag3r who r3pl@c3s 3v3ry l3tt3r po$$ibl3 with @ symbol. Annoying.
What my phone will look like in 17-28 days.
Triple Tangent Tuesday is where you tell three strange things about yourself. If you play, leave a link to your post in my comments so I can check it out!!
1. I have to keep a wash cloth in my other hand when I brush my teeth. I am a child and drool on myself and the wash cloth saves my clothes, and me wiping all the make up off my chin.
2. I have a creepy sixth sense with songs. I will start singing something I am in the mood to hear, my ears start to bleed and I remember I can't sing so I turn the radio on, and a lot of times that song is on as soon as I turn it on. It's a little creepy.
3. I only like baked scents. Candles, scentsy, sprays... if they are perfumey (I make up words) or fruity they are dead to me. If it doesn't smell like something I can eat I want no part of it. I heart food... what else is new.
I am feeling much better today. I didn't even stay sad all day yesterday which surprised me. Actually, I didn't stay sad at all. Writing about it always makes me feel better. Then Jamie dropped the "f bomb" about it and Kira said nice things. And I got a dozen chocolate covered strawberries, went home and hugged my husband. All was right in the world. "Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers." It's impossible to stay sad with friends, family, husband, and chocolate. And I have the best there is. Usually I would have guilted myself out and felt horrible for eating all 12 of the strawberries (judge me) but I didn't. Not even for a second. Calories don't exist on bad days. Josh made me dinner and I headed off to school in a fabulous mood with plans to come home and watch a movie before bed. He text me at 7:30 and said he was puking and heading to bed. Poor guy. So I spent Valentine's Day learning to draw blood from the hands, getting my hand poked and watching Family Guy alone for an hour. It was a pretty good night, I just hate when he is sick and I can't do anything.
We are going to try running outside on Saturday again. As I was running on the treadmill this morning I came to a realization that I actually like that thing, and not just because it's in a temperature controlled environment. I really, really like it. I am getting attached. I did four miles in 30:23, then came home and rolled on my brand new foam roller. LOVE it so far. 59 days until the marathon. I really like to count things down.
I think I need to layoff the sugar until after the marathon. Sugar hangovers make running a little bit more difficult. I need to fuel my body better. I get a new Bountiful Basket on Saturday, plus eight pounds of strawberries. Hello smoothie maker! After our 14 miles Jamie and I are having a foam-rolling-smoothie-drinking party. It doesn't get cooler than that.
